John's crazy summer

I know all of you are wondering what I am doing this summer so I thought I would throw some words out to everyone , just to keep you up to date.
As most of you know, last year I was an usher at Macon Bacon games and I realized a few things about myself, the main one being that I was a very old man who needs to use his mind and not his body to make money.
So no ushering for me this year.
However that does not mean I am not at the ballpark each and every day the Macon Bacon play a home game.
My new title is trackman operator.
Yes I know an impressive title working on stats during the game, charting every pitch by clicking buttons on a computer.
You didn't really think I was that smart did you ?
Maybe my friends, I am not.
When I was approached about doing trackman for the Bacon , I thought of sitting in the air conditioned press box and being able to enjoy the game and up to game day that's still what I thought.
I was wrong. I actually sit in section 205 on the second row with a computer in my lap, having to track every pitch of the game.
I have learned many things this summer and I feel it is my job as a blogger to tell you what I have learned.
1. When one works at a ball park that offers all you can eat options, the traffic in the isles is huge. I am sure I am very comical as I stretch one way to see the pitch that is coming so I can , well , track it. One thing I have learned is that if you miss a pitch on this system you are screwed. If the count is 3-2 and you have it as 2-2 and the pitch is a ball, then the system is going to send the guy to first base and move on to the next batter. That's is not good so I dodge and weave with a computer on my lap for most of the day
2. The seats at Luther Williams are not comfortable. I mean they downright hurt like hell with no relief. I am sitting there for 3 or more hours and cant really stand up a whole lot because of my tracking, so sometimes I wish I still weighed 305 instead of 248 because my ass would be much more cushioned.
3.I get strange looks and questions all the time and everyone wants to know what I am doing. When I explain the next question is what team am I scouting for. I am sorry to say that usually just come up with a team and hope that they will move on. You see I have no time for idle chat because I am tracking every single pitch. I did tell one fan early in the year that I worked for the Indiana Pheasant Hunters from the independent Plain Name League and the guy seemed fairly impressed.
4. Trackman is a fairly impressive app. They have a laser beam hooked up at the top of my pole(yes its my pole) and the system tracks velocity, spin rate , and about six other things. It also track s exit velocity when someone hits the ball. Trackman is amazing because it can also tell you what each player had for lunch, as well as what kind of music they like. What is truly amazing is that it also tell you what kind of mood they are in that day and height and weight of each ones mother and father. I really am not sure how they do that.
If you are at a Bacon game please come and say hello and now you can avoid asking me all this awkward questions. I would love to see my fans, but don't be turned off if I only give you a second. Its hard tracking pitches while talking and sweating